Choosing to Choose

The last few days have been challenging - I've been in a constant state of agitation and little motivation has left me high and dry. It's been unbelievably frustrating. And no doubt a pain in the arse for those people around me. But it's now Friday, and in our house Friday night is homemade pizza night - always a reason to celebrate. I'm going to soak in a bath by candlelight and warm my way into the weekend. Happy Friday, lovers!


I was in a feral mood. A tele-marketer called right in the middle of dinner. Lucky for me (& lets face it, lucky for her) I didn't answer the phone, my ever-patient husband did. And he was so polite, and so nice and got off the phone so quickly. When I commented that he was much more polite than I would have been, his answer was 'Oh well, poor woman, she was just doing her job'.  Boom. And just like that a little switch was flicked. I went back to my quinoa and announced that my bad mood was gone, I was ok now. Just like that. Lucky that man loves me.


I was sitting at work, having a serious case of the "couldn't be's" see, my work situation is abit tricky at the moment, and each day presents to me as it comes. Some days, I'm smashing it. Others, it's a struggle to do anything without getting distracted, and I wish so hard we had some type of Self Control App on our work computers so I didn't have to keep checking myself... Today was a struggle day. And then, in my procrastination, I read a post on a blog that I admire, very much. And something about it reminded me about what matters. It's not the bullsh*t that I (we?) put myself through each day in my head that counts. It's how I choose to spend each day. Each minute even.  I get to choose to change my reality. It can be a simple as choosing to not be a crankypants, or to finish even one single simple little task. I might need to then make another choice, in another minute, and that becomes yet another chance to intentionally direct my energy. I know that this notion of 'intention' and 'thoughts creating your reality' gets thrown around alot these days. I'm not really talking here about the Law of Attraction, or raising your energy so that what you desire is attracted to you...I kind of think it's simpler than that. Just choose. How do you want to be? Do you want to spend a night being cranky? Then do it. If you'd rather stop, and shake it off, then choose that. It's a lesson I've been learning over the last few weeks - I can't do much to really change my external circumstance productively right now, but I can choose how I react to it. I love this video by Hayley Carr - once you become conscious of your habits, or your repeated behaviours, you then have a choice on how you react. Simple. Elegant, even. Just choose. And then move on.


I'm going to keep making choices. I'm sure I won't always make the best ones. And I'm damn sure I'll forget how easy it is to choose, probably at least once a day. But I'll remember, and then I'll choose, and I'll be happier. Because that's too blessed and too precious and too beautiful to wait a lifetime for.